When It Gets Lonely, Remember You Are Not Alone
“I know this is the right thing for me. I know it. I feel it”, she said with such conviction.
Then she followed with, “I feel so alone sometimes though. I feel like many don’t understand what I am going through, what I feel.”
She looked at me with water welling up in her eyes.
I know the feeling, I thought to myself. I’ve been there time and time again.
“I know this is right. But why do I feel so alone?”
She was expressing what many of you, many of us, feel as visionaries: big visions, big dreams, a calling to help others, and yet, we walk alone.
How do you share that with others so they “get it”? Understand it?
“I know that what I’m doing is right”, she continued. “I know that this is the path for me. I just know it. But gosh, it’s lonely. I feel so alone on most days.”
If you are nodding, you understand. You have been there. Maybe you are there.
As she continued to share with me what she was experiencing, I knew this was not something new to visionaries. It’s something that we all go through. In fact, I think it’s all part of the right of passage. You want to make a big difference and help many, therefore be prepared to feel alone and know that you are not alone.
How do you move through these times of feeling alone? Here are some suggestions:
1. Acknowledge that big visions and dreams come from stepping away from the pack and being a leader. You are intentionally putting yourself in a position to lead to help others and make a difference. Know that what you are feeling is normal. In fact, it’s actually perfect. You have to feel a bit detached to step forward as others walk alongside of you as a leader. They want to walk beside someone who understands what they are going through, what they feel, what they struggle with. They want to know that they are not alone. As you step into your vision and mission, you will inevitably detach yourself from the crowd and that is ok. It’s actually a good thing.
2. As you step into your leadership role as a visionary making a difference, let go of the judgement of others. This may be one of the hardest things you will have to do. We all want to know that what we are doing is ok, it’s accepted. We want to be loved and appreciated. It helps confirm that we are on the right path and that what we are doing is making a difference. But remember that you will not get the love and acceptance from everyone. Many will have their own reasons for dismissing your intentions and your vision and mission, while those who truly believe and support you, will cheer you on and be there to encourage you to continue to help the people you feel called to help. Trust that. Trust you.
3. Trust you. Trust in yourself. This will be the loneliest part of it all. it’s hard to believe in yourself when others don’t know your experience, your expertise and what you have been through. You may feel like you have to justify why you are doing what you are doing. You may feel like they just don’t understand. And that may 100% correct. Therefore, trust in yourself. Trust in you. You have the answers to what is right for you. Trust you.
4. Ask for help and guidance. Join a community of visionaries: When we are at a new place, we don’t know what we don’t know. Join a group, like Visionaries Creating Impact. The members understand what you are going through. They can offer support and guidance too. And reach out to mentors, coaches, guides, those whom you trust and ask for their advice, their guidance and leadership. It doesn’t matter if you are new to your vision or mission or the CEO of a multi-million dollar company, we all venture into new territory and feel unsure, and yes alone, as we grow and move forward. Know that when you ask or invest in help you are fast-tracking to the answers and results you seek.
5. Be proud. Really. So many want to step into their visions and missions and they hold themselves back out because of a thousand reasons. YOU are stepping into your vision. You are living your mission. You are creating an impact. You are stepping away from the norm and the pack and are venturing into a place of what is unknown. Be proud. Celebrate your own curiosity and courage. You may not get the accolades you seek but know you are making a difference every time you help but one person. Celebrate that, and you!
It really isn’t easy when you are stepping into a leadership role to make a difference in the lives of many as a visionary, following your calling, and your vision and mission.
Know that you are not alone. Keep living your vision and mission, and creating the impact only you can make.