Mental illness is becoming a subject that more and more are talking about. For Monique Zufferey, life has not been easy for her. Since she was a teenager, she has had to overcome both depression and being bipolar. She is a fighter and someone who deeply cares about others. Today, she is a proud mother of two children and a strong advocate for mental health education. Meet Monique.
I was born in Granby (Quebec) and lived in Montréal. Both of my parents come from Switzerland. When I was 8 years old, we moved to Ottawa.
School was never my forte, but I preferred it to being at home. Let’s just say that I didn’t have the best family life. My mother had depression and my father was bipolar.
I left home when I was 17, which forced me to learn a lot on my own. I wanted to have children, because I have a lot to give, and I actually wanted to give everything that I never received.
I became a hair stylist and I also studied Hotel Restaurant Management and Catering. I was able to work. Twenty years ago, I was pregnant with my first child. Unfortunately, she was born 2 months premature, weighing but one pound, and did not survive.
After the birth of my 3rd child, 17 years ago I was hospitalized for bipolar, depression and multiple anxiety disorders and was told that I could no longer work, ever.
I now have two beautiful children. My son Sebastien is 19 and my daughter Sophie is 17. I’ve been a single mother for 15 years as their father was with us for 3 years, and then left.
I live in a home in the Alta Vista area. I have a huge house. It used to be the original farmhouse in the area, and I love it. It’s big, but I also have a ¼ of an acre, so it takes 1 ½ hours to mow the lawn.
Being an artist, I love to cook. I love to bake and I love to sew.
Who inspires you in your life? Who do you look up to and why?
My biggest inspiration comes from my social workers, my psychiatrists and myself. I have had to fight a lot for what I needed and wanted in my life and they were great advocates for me.
I’ve had to fight a lot with social conflicts and mental illness discrimination. I was 15 years on ODSP, which is Ontario Disability. I had to take care of the house, my children, and going three times a month to food banks. I did a lot of sewing and I managed to be able to live on a little over $1,000 a month for 15 years as a single mom.
I also had no social life. Babysitters were way too expensive, and friends fear you and leave you when they find out how ill you have become. So I also gained a lot of weight, became diabetic in those 15 years, and about 4 years ago, my children and I started doing some kickboxing.
I’m happy to say that with portion control, and the help of my daughter’s attitude, I lost almost 100 lbs, and that also helped out with the medication.
I could be a poster child for mental illness because I have never self-medicated and I have no debt. I’ve been able to put some money aside, and I am no longer on ODSP.
I would also like to add that I’m grateful for the women that I have met through a local women’s group called Ladies Who Lunch. I am grateful for the social life it has given me and the opportunity to make fantastic friends.
Who are you most proud of?
I am most proud of my children, the challenges they will overcome and what they will become.
What do you want your older self to know?
Everything is going to be alright, that everything is going to be okay.
And to listen to music, to never stop listening to music. There’s good music out there. When I am not feeling really good, I listen to James Brown’s “I Feel Good”. I also listen to Bob Marley and Lady Gaga. Be open to music as it is good. It’s good for the soul.
What are your favourite quotes?
“Take it one breath at a time”, not one day at a time, it’s one breath at a time..
I’ve also told my kids: “Keep your head straight. Not too low because you won’t be able see in front of you and you’ll wind up falling. Not too high because your nose is going to bleed, because of the altitude.”
And finally, “Love me as I am, with my tears and my smile.”
