Debbie Abfalter

I am 53 years old and I have two wonderful children. Hasan is my son who is 30 and my daughter, Nevin is 29! Nevin lives in Vancouver and Hasan lives here in Ottawa. I have two stepdaughters and I am also a “step” Nana. 🙂

I am an Army Brat, and I was born in Germany and came to Canada when I was three years old and from there, we lived mostly in B.C. where my heart is. I hope to one day live there again. I have a twin brother who is 10 minutes older than me but we are not close. Both my Mom and Dad are extremely young and full of life. Our genetic gene is amazing and youthful.

Who inspires you in your life and why?

My clients inspire me in my life! I love learning about their lives, what they loved in life the best and listening to their many interesting tales whether painful or not. When they come into my life, it is usually at the end of their journey in life and they have “no filter” and some of the stories I have heard would make a sailor blush!

What have been some of the biggest challenges you have had to overcome in your life?

My first marriage was an abusive marriage and I left with my 3 and 4 year old kids. He was quite wealthy but I would have rather been poor/happy and safe than rich/sad and abused. I raised my kids for 16 years on my own with little financial help from their father. Most of that time, I had 2-3 jobs at a time to just keep shelter and food for us. I worked full-time, taught aerobics and worked part-time at a retail store. We had some great times despite all of that.

I met a second husband after the children left the house and that was a disaster! I left two years ago and have a “No Contact Order” on him! (I won’t get into why). I joke how he got the house and I got his family! I am great friends with his ex-wife and we even spent Xmas together. We both ride motorcycles together! He sure picks great women! I am the “winner” at the end of the day. Lucky me.

He does not see his kids nor his grandchild.

Then I met a man who was an amazing man, and we were very happy together. There was going to be a future together. Tragically, he was killed in a motorcycle accident in March of 2016.

What did you do to move through them? What did you learn?

Moving through all of this was not easy. I relied on friends and family!

I am still learning and always will continue to move on and learn! Life is so precious to waste it by being unkind, nasty or jealous.

I am learning more and more about myself lately and it’s extremely enlightening.

What are you most proud of?

I am so very proud of MYSELF. I never used to be and this is new to pat myself on my own back. Seniors Solution just celebrated 10 years in business and there were many people in my life that said I would never amount to anything and I would never succeed in anything. That is hard to get out of your head when it’s forever being told to you!

WELL….it’s out of my head and I am so very PROUD OF MYSELF!

What do you want younger women to know?

Be true to yourself! Don’t ever change for a “man” and NEVER let a man hit you/insult you/put you down/tell you that you are “nothing” without him!!! You are everything WITHOUT him…get out and never look back!

I wish I learned to say NO a long time ago and not do everything for people even when I didn’t want to in case they didn’t like me!

(I could go on and on.)

What does living fully mean to you?

Living fully to me means taking chances and don’t be afraid to do all the things you want to do before it’s too late as “later” may never come! Just go out and live YOUR life and be brave, kind, funny, smart and most of all, be true to you!!!!