Tell us a little about yourself.
I am a wife of a retired air force captain, a mother of 2 adult sons and a grand-mother to a 3 ½ year-old girl. Currently, I am self-employed as a caregiver for the elderly and physically challenged. I also volunteer with Hospice Care Ottawa. Once I obtain the mandatory 30-hour training, I will be able to provide caregiving/respite services to palliative care patients. My passion is helping others – particularly the elderly.
Who inspires you and why?
I am very fortunate to have two sources of inspiration:
My mother – who will be 88 on February 11th. She lived alone in the family home, following my father’s death in 2000. Five years ago, the neighbor across the street from my mother’s house, noticed that the living room curtains had not been opened for a couple of days, so she called my older sister to go check on my mother in case she was ill. My mother was found on the floor, unable to get up or speak…she had suffered a stroke two days before. During those two days, it was evident that she dragged her body throughout the house trying to get to a phone to call someone…but to no avail. She had no choice but to wait to be found. While she waited, she would drag her body to the bathroom to urinate on the carpet in front of the tub. She didn’t realize that while dragging herself around the house, she was scraping the skin off her elbow, hip and leg – to the bone. Because it took so long for her to be found, she lost the use of her right side as well as her voice. After being admitted to the hospital, all she would do is cry and do the sign of the cross with her hand and beg God to take her. She refused any rehab that was offered because she just wanted to die. Once there was nothing more that could be done at the hospital, she was transferred to a long-term care facility. It took about 3 years of being in this facility for her to finally accept her limitations and new surroundings. Now she considers it home. The people who work there love her and she loves them. They are like extended family. She is a survivor – and for that reason, she inspires me a great deal. When I think I’m having a hard day, my mind automatically goes back to thinking of my mother and what she went through during this difficult time.
My older sister – she is the strongest person I know! Since my mother’s stroke, my sister has been my mother’s primary caregiver. She has the responsibility of taking care of all of my mother’s interests – banking, medical and personal supplies and power of attorney for everything. Shortly after my mother entered the long-term care facility, my sister’s husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer, for which he chose to have radical surgery. The following year, her son passed away at the age of 29. The following year, she fell in her driveway and broke her wrist and nose. Currently, her husband is going through a total breakdown due to work-related issues, so she is taking care of him at home, and attending his appointments with him. My sister is currently awaiting the results of a biopsy from a lump that was found in her breast. She is trying to stay positive and all I can do at this point in time, is to offer her my support, long distance. Through all of this she still finds time to help others. We sponsor several families at Christmas and she holds a fundraiser in her son’s memory every year…I go to Windsor and spend 2 weeks with her doing all of the last-minute tasks that need to be done. On the day of the event, we set up the venue and try to make as much money as possible to help benefit organizations that helped my nephew throughout his life. He had spastic-quad cerebral palsy so required the assistance of the Children’s Rehab Centre for his mobility needs. When he got older, he attended a community centre where he could meet and “hang out” with others with mental and physical challenges. With everything my sister’s been through in the past 5 years, I consider her a rock star…my inspiration…my best friend.
What have been some of the biggest challenges you have had to overcome in your life? What did you do to move through them? What did you learn?
My biggest challenges have been with being taken advantage of and being bullied. Since my nature is to be kind, gentle, trusting and compassionate, I’ve always wanted to help people. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always put others ahead of myself. I’ve worked hard as an administrative assistant for 30 years and have left the corporate world because of the nonsense I had to deal with. I made the best choice – to save myself. I’ve learned to be less trusting of people. In my experience, when you stand up for yourself, people with power will eat you up and spit you out. So, I am my own boss now!
What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of being able to do what I love doing and being the person I am. I am proud of my children who are very conscientious young men and who treat people with the respect they deserve.
What do you want younger women to know?
I want younger women to know that they need to be patient to achieve their dreams. I find that in today’s society, it’s often about instant gratification.
What does living fully mean to you?
To me, living fully means that you’re living true to yourself, doing what you want most in life and that you’re willing to work hard for what you want. For me, it’s not about the money…it’s about what fills my heart!
Favourite Quote
I have two actually –
“Enjoy the little things in life…for one day, you’ll look back and realize that they were the big things.”
“Don’t look back – you’re not going that way.”
