Tired? Fed up? Time to let go?
We all have stuff in our lives that we put up with, right? But when that extra stuff begins to weigh us down, cause stress, and keeps us stuck, it’s time to let go.
In last week’s blog, titled “Are You Fed Up?”, I asked you to list all of the stuff in your life, all those extras, that you are tolerating, that is stressing you out, keeping you frustrated, broke and fed up. And, wow, the tolerations that were sent in were numerous. And the plea for help came through loud and clear!
In case you’re not sure what a toleration is, they are the things that you are putting up with, the stuff that you’re absolutely fed up with, and the things that are in your life that you just don’t want anymore. You are tired of having them weigh you down, keep you stuck and stress you out.
So what are you supposed to do? You made a list right? Now what?
Here are three steps to help you let go of anything, including your tolerations:
1. Take the blinders off!
The first step to let go is to identify the tolerations and what is keeping you stuck. Some of your tolerations are the things you absolutely know are there: the extra clothes in your closet, the shoes lying around at the front door, the trash that is littering your car floor.
You see them, but the question is, are you truly noticing them and what they are doing to your life?
So, step one: take the blinders off!
Start noticing how those tolerations are making you feel? Start paying attention to the frustration you feel, the stress it is causing you, and the overwhelm it keeps you in.
Once you take notice of something and truly pay attention, it stays in your field of vision. You’ll see it every time you walk pass it, you encounter it, or it shows up.
The blinders come off.
And when that happens, you can choose to continue to pay attention to it, ignore it, or better yet, do something about it (which is what we’re doing, right?).
But let’s make something very clear. Some tolerations are ones we have to put up with, we can’t ignore them or we can’t do anything but accept them, for now.
I call those “tolerable tolerations”.
Here’s an example : I moved to the country recently. We purchased the perfect size home for us on 44 acres of treed land. It’s gorgeous and I love it. But I do have a few tolerations and one of them is the location of my home office.
When we purchased this home, we knew that I would have to have my office in a space that wasn’t what I would have liked. The location is a walk-through room and I do not have a door to close for privacy. It’s a large space, so it does accommodate my office furniture and needs. But, it comes with things that I’m tolerating.
You may be tolerating something in your life too because you know, eventually, you can, and will do, something about it. So for now, it’s tolerable.
On the otherhand, the tolerations that are absolutely costing you – time, money, energy, joy, peace, comfort, health, wellness – those are the ones you want to do something about. And fast!
You are fed up.
You’ve had enough.
As the saying goes, enough is enough.
So what to do?
There’s a special event that I host twice a year that may help you to let go, move forward and live fully. This may be something that will make the pieces come together for you. “InPower!” may be for you or someone that you know.
2. Get very clear on what really matters!
Once you have awareness and you want to do something about the tolerations in your life, you have to get very, very, VERY clear about what truly matters and what is most important. Then you can let go.
If you know that getting out of debt is of utmost importance, you are fed up with the worry, the stress, the strain of it, you become very, very clear about how you spend every single dollar that you earn.
You don’t spend on things that you don’t need. You sell things that don’t serve you anymore or don’t fit with where you are today.
When you have clarity about what really matters, your priorities become your compass in the decisions that you make. (Tweet: When you have clarity about what really matters, your priorities become your compass in the the decisions that you make. @pieretteraymond)
If you waiver, if you cave, if you give in, and you don’t follow your priorities, then there’s something else happening (we’ll cover that in next weeks blog, because that is an entirely different subject of its own.
So, for this week, take the time to get very, very clear about your priorities.
What is MOST IMPORTANT?
What really, really MATTERS?
Look at the list of tolerations that you have.
Look at what brought you to have those things in your life.
Look at what you say is really important and how it is not aligned with what is in your life.
I’ll say that again.
Get very clear about what you know is really, really important, and then look at what is in your life (your tolerations). What is not aligned with what you say is important?
3. Make a Decision – Yes! or No!
Once you see the correlation, you can begin to take small, or big steps, to change your life, to let go, by eliminating your tolerations. And you do that by saying YES! to what really matters and saying NO! to what doesn’t.
Here’s how it works. Look at one of your tolerations. Let’s say you have too much paper on your desk. You’re fed up with how you continually have a messy desk. It irks you. It frustrates you and you are done with having a messy desk. Enough is enough! It’s time to let go!
You also value tidyness. It’s VERY important for you to have a work space that is clear of clutter. You want a clean desk, with organized piles (in the very least) and you want to be able to know where to find what you need when you need it. It’s really, really important!
Now it’s time for action.
Pick up one item, one piece of paper at a time and decide. YES! I need this. NO! I don’t need this. It’s either a yes or no, not a maybe.
Come back to your priorities. What really matters? What is most important?
And then let go!
That’s how you start. That’s how you begin the process of letting go of the stuff in your life that you no longer need, the stuff that is keeping you stuck, the stuff that you are absolutely fed up with.
And if you get stuck, I go into further detail in my next blog. The recommendations may help when things are just a little too tough to let go.
Get very good at making decisions about what is truly important and what really matters in your life. You will then be able to let go and deal with your tolerations in an effective way.
Leave your comments below. Is this helpful? What is working for you? Where are you still feeling stuck?
Remember, you do not have to do it alone. I am here to help!
If you need one-on-one help, my team at Moving Forward Matters can certainly help you declutter and organize your home or office. They can also help you prepare to downsize and move. And if you simply need physical items to be brought to local charity, to the recyclers or to the waste site, call on my team at 1-800-GOT-JUNK? Ottawa.
Join me at “InPower!” to learn more about how you can make this a daily practice for you. You’ll learn tips, strategies and yes, you will connect with others and have fun! Click here for more information. I look forward to sharing this experience with you!
