Who am I now?
I never imagined I’d be asking myself that question after retirement, but here I am.
People keep asking me, “So… what’s retirement like?” And my answer always surprises them. I’m still figuring it out.
I thought I knew exactly what retirement would feel like. But I was wrong.
Maybe that’s why you found your way here. Maybe retirement hasn’t felt the way you expected either. Maybe you spent decades building a career, building a business, raising a family, showing up for everyone around you, and now you’re quietly wondering, Who am I now?
Maybe you’ve even found yourself awake at three o’clock in the morning asking questions you never expected to ask. Why do I feel lost after retirement? Why doesn’t retirement feel the way I thought it would? What’s my purpose now?
Over the past several months, I’ve found myself coming back to the same three questions. They’re helping me find my way through this next chapter, and maybe they’ll help you too.
Retirement wasn’t quite what I expected
When we sold the business we’d spent twenty-five years building, I thought I knew exactly what retirement would feel like. I imagined quiet mornings, more time in the garden, swimming, writing and simply being home.
And that’s exactly what we did. We even took some time away before coming home for Christmas. Then January arrived, and retirement truly began.
My husband settled into retirement beautifully. He loves the slower pace, and honestly, I love it too.
But something inside me kept pulling.
Not back to work, but towards contribution.
I couldn’t quite explain it. I wasn’t looking for another business or career. I wasn’t trying to stay busy. I simply felt like there was still something inside me that wanted to be shared.
That feeling led me to the first question I had to ask myself.
1. Who am I now that my role has changed?
Not who was I, or who do I think I should become.
Who am I today?
Without the title. Without the business. Without everyone needing me. Just me.
That isn’t a question you answer in five minutes. It’s one you sit with. You might journal about it, reflect on it during a walk, or simply be present with your own thoughts on a quiet drive.
Because before we can discover what’s next, we have to reconnect with who we already are.
A few months later, I had the first day that truly felt like retirement for me.
Nothing extraordinary happened. My husband was outside working on a project. I wandered through the garden, hung laundry on the clothesline, went for a swim and spent time writing. We had lunch together.
And somewhere during that ordinary day, I suddenly realized, This is retirement.
It was peaceful, creative and relaxing. Exactly what I’d imagined.
But something surprised me.
It still wasn’t enough.
That’s when I realized something I’ve always known about myself. I cannot not help people.
I love quiet mornings. I love gardening. I love slowing down. Those things nourish me. But I also come alive when I’m helping someone see themselves differently. When I ask a question that helps a woman reconnect with who she is. When she remembers what matters most. When she begins to believe there’s still so much life ahead of her.
That’s what fills me up.
Retirement didn’t take that away. It just made it even clearer.
2. What makes you feel alive and brings you joy?
The second question became: What makes you feel alive and brings you joy?
Not productive.
Alive. Joyful.
What gives you energy? What makes you lose track of time? What feels like you?
For me, it was writing, creating, making these videos while I learn YouTube all over again, reconnecting to my Women Living Fully community and helping women reconnect with themselves. And for some, reconnect with their businesses too.
Some of those passions had quietly been waiting for this season of life. Retirement gave them room to breathe again.
Maybe it’s the same for you. Maybe there are parts of yourself that have been patiently waiting for this chapter too.
3. How do I want to contribute in this next chapter of my life?
Once I reconnected with who I am and remembered what brings me alive, the third question almost answered itself.
How do I want to contribute in this next chapter of my life?
Notice I didn’t say achieve. I said contribute.
Those are two very different things.
I’ve realized I’ve never simply been building businesses. In fact, retirement made me realize how much I missed helping women reconnect with themselves, rekindle what matters most and reimagine what’s possible.
Retirement didn’t change who I am.
It reminded me who I’ve been all along.
And it gave me permission to step fully into her again. Maybe that’s exactly what this season is inviting you to discover too.
Maybe retirement isn’t about stopping
If retirement has left you wondering what’s next, I hope you’ll remember that you don’t have to have all the answers today.
I’m still discovering this chapter too.
But I no longer believe retirement is about stopping. I believe it’s about rediscovering who you are, what makes you feel alive and brings you joy, and reimagining what’s possible in this next chapter of your life.
If you’re trying to find your own way through retirement, take some time with these three questions:
- Who am I now that my role has changed?
- What makes me feel alive and brings me joy?
- How do I want to contribute in this next chapter of my life?
You don’t have to figure them all out at once. Sit with them. Write about them. Take them with you on a walk or a quiet drive. See what comes up.
And these questions aren’t only for retirement. If you’re navigating a major life transition or simply trying to reconnect with yourself again, maybe one of them is the question you need right now.
For me, it keeps coming back to that first one.
Who am I now?
I’m still answering it. And maybe that’s part of what this chapter is all about.
Because at the heart of it all, the answer may be the beginning of the most meaningful chapter of your life.
Prefer to watch?
I shared more about my own experience with retirement and these three questions in this video:
No One Told Me Retirement Would Feel Like This
I’d love to hear from you. Which of these three questions do you need most right now? Or, if you’ve already begun answering them, what have you discovered about yourself?
