Penny Hately

Penny Hately has survived some of the greatest challenges a woman can face. Despite the struggles and abuse, Penny sought help and rose above it all. Through the years, she has learned, grown and is now a woman who shares her beautiful spirit with those whom she meets. She is funny, caring and kind. Meet this week’s Woman of the Week, Penny Hately.

A little bit about myself.

First, I’d like to say how honoured I am to be chosen to be the woman of the week. Wow, what an awesome surprise, to be able to share with a lot of women, that I respect and admire.
I’ve read the things that we’re all capable of, and yes, it inspires me.

I was born in a suburb of Toronto, called Mississauga. Although, at the time of my birth, it was a little town called Port Credit. Like time does with everything, it grew to be a city, which we now call Mississauga.

My family and I lived there until divorce divided us, I was fifteen.
My mother who had remarried, moved off to Ottawa, where her family grew by one, adding my little sister. My father followed suit, remarried and moved off to New Brunswick, which was home to him, as he was born and raised on the farm.

I married young and had a daughter. Unfortunately, the marriage did’t last, and I found myself a single working parent, juggling work and being a mom. My life consisted of work and spending time with family. I had two older brothers, whom I was very close to. We did everything together, until one day, tragedy struck. My oldest brother was killed in a car accident, I was heartbroken. Depression now accompanied my every day and I knew that life would never be the same.

I’ve had the opportunity to learn different things in my life. Whether it be from working in a factory bindery making books, or working in a photo studio making other people shine to perfection. I’ve also owned my own cleaning company, yes, it paid the bills, it was hard work, but you felt your self worth after the day was over. Retail was also another job that helped pay for bills. I’ve been given so many different tasks, and I appreciate them all. I’ve enjoyed each experience, and would never say no to work.

However, today, I am enjoying being semi-retired, I say semi, because I have a cake business that has flourished without advertising, I didn’t plan on it becoming a business but people like cake and who I am to say they can’t have it. LOL. I still work my Epicure business too. Maybe not to the point where I could be, but at my own pace. I love the products and if I can get a discount on my items for selling it to myself, then, I’m going to do it. You can visit my webpage if you’re not sure what it’s all about, I won’t go into it here. pennyhately.myepicure.com

What have been some of the biggest challenges you have had to overcome in your life? What did you do to move through them? What did you learn? What do you wish to share with others?

One of the biggest challenges in my life happened over several years. I met a man that I thought the sun rose and set on. He was a recovering alcoholic but had been clean and sober for three years. We had a great time together and after some time, tied the knot and had a son. Life couldn’t be any better, things were looking up for me. I counted my blessings. I found that the man I had grown to love, turned to the bottle again. He became a total stranger, from the man that was presented to me in the beginning, he had become a monster.

My son and I had become a prisoner in our own home. I suffered mental and physical abuse at the hands of a man, that had been consumed by the devil. I didn’t know how to deal with this and after fifteen years together, I sought professional help and after encouragement from several people, I found some inner strength. Enough to escape from his clutches, we moved. Yippee!! Our feelings of excitement were short lived though. We found him at every corner we turned, every parking lot we entered, every place we visited. Yes, he was following us, and he even had a private investigator following us. It was a very scary time for my son and I.

Again, we sought for protection, from the police and lawyers but to no avail. Once again, my son and I were faced with a dilemma, what to do? We decided to move to Ottawa. My mom and step-father opened their home to us and provided that safety net. We are forever grateful for their outreach.

I don’t tell you this for sympathy, no, no. I tell you this because, there is a way out. I am living proof of that. For those ladies who feel that they can’t, for whatever reason, please, I beg of you, get help. There is life out there, and you’re worth it. If there was anything that I learned is that you must learn to love yourself again and therapy, was also a must for me. There are lots of obstacles, yes, that’s for sure, but your life depends on it.

Just so you know, you can trust again, I did. I married again. But this time, I know it’s for good. He’s the best man in the whole world, God had him waiting for me. If I hadn’t gone through all that I had, I wouldn’t have ended up in Ottawa and I wouldn’t have met my husband.

Melanie Arscott, who was responsible for me joining “Women Moving Forward,” and introducing me to a whole new world that I didn’t know even existed. I wouldn’t have met the likes of Judy, Janet, Pierrette, Rose, Angela, the list goes on, if I hadn’t come to the meetings. These meetings by the way, brought me out of a shell that I didn’t know, could be penetrated. I lacked self confidence, I was so shy. For those who know me today, find that hard to believe, but I was terribly shy. These ladies helped me grow and be more aware of life in general. Thank you ladies.

I love my life today and wouldn’t change a single thing.

Who inspires you in your life? Who do you look up to? And why?

There are so many people who have inspired me on my journey called life. I am so appreciative of all of them.
My grandmother (West) was someone who taught me unconditional love. She was always quick with a hug or ready to supply a cup to collect her wild berries that she promised to make something special out of. She was a devout baptist who taught me how to love and give to others. She died when I was fifteen, it was very hard.

My Aunt Mavis, who was there for me through my ups and downs. Oh, how I love this woman. She is my shining light. I have learned many things from this lady. She gives selflessly, she loves her bible, her church and whomever the church holds. Mavis wasn’t a stranger to pain either. Losing a four year old child, and her husband at an early age, didn’t alter her love for God. Even raising a young teenage boy by herself she still managed to show her grace and love. I admire her strength.

What are you most proud of?

I am very proud of my husband and my son. They both have overcome some very big obstacles in their lives.

My son, whom is clean and sober, will always melt my heart and I welcome more and more family ties that we can build upon.

My husband welcomed my son as his own and I love him for that. He has also taken the baggage that came with me, and has helped me build who I am today.

The church and our community have become a big part of our lives. For the last nine years, my son, my husband and I have collected warm clothing, boots, shoes and whatever else we can to help the homeless. We take the money that we would spend on each other at Christmas and buy warm socks, gloves, hats, and scarves and on Christmas morning, we gather at the Mission to pass them out. We are joined by others who also help out by making hygiene kits and passing cookies and bottles of water out. It does a heart good to see how well received these little gifts are.

What do you want your older self to know?

I haven’t really thought about that a lot. I’m already old aren’t I? LOL.
I would want my older self to know that my life had a purpose. Whether it was to be a daughter, sister, aunt, mother, or wife, I was an instrument used in God’s orchestra.