We don’t get to choose whether we will experience loss. We do get to choose how we meet it.
What surprised me most in these past weeks wasn’t the grief itself. It was what grief reminded me about love. If you have ever lost someone or something that meant the world to you, you’ll know this isn’t only a story about losing two dogs. It’s about grief, it’s about love, and it’s about learning to carry both.
Two Losses, One Month Apart
Just a week before, our dog Kota had been healthy, happy and enjoying life. Then he became very sick, very quickly, and we were faced with one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. As heartbreaking as it was, there was comfort in knowing he didn’t suffer.
One month to the day later, just as we were finding our footing again, our girl Jada collapsed right in front of us after a beautiful morning walk. She had been happy and completely herself. We held her as she died.
Nothing prepares you for that kind of shock, or the silence that follows. You keep looking for them. You think you hear them walking through the house. You reach for routines that no longer exist.
Grief Hurts Because Love Mattered
People often want to make grief better. They offer kind words because they don’t know what else to say. I’ve learned there really aren’t words that take the pain away.
Grief hurts because love mattered. The depth of our grief reflects the depth of our love. That isn’t something we need to fix. It’s something we need to honour.
Not long after we lost them, Kota and Jada came to me together in a dream, happy and jumping up to greet me the way they always did. I woke up in tears. I don’t know what dreams mean, and I’m not here to tell anyone what to believe. I only know that moment filled me with love and reminded me that what we shared was real. It didn’t take away my grief, but it gave me comfort. Sometimes comfort is exactly what we need.
How We Are Honouring Our Grief
For us, honouring grief looks different every day. Their food dishes are still where they’ve always been. We still say their names. I can look at some photographs now, but I still can’t watch the videos.
We created a memorial here on our property in the country, where Jada now rests beside Mia, our precious girl who went before them. Sometimes I visit and cry, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I do both at once.
We haven’t tried to push the grief away. When tears come, we cry. When memories come, we talk about them. My husband and I cry together, and sometimes a song comes on and we feel the loss all over again, together. I’m grateful for that, and grateful for him.
Continuing to Live While You Grieve
One thing we knew was important was to keep living while we grieved. We had started renovating our bedroom after Kota died, and when Jada died, we kept going. Not because we were moving on, but because life continues even when our hearts are broken.
Continuing to live isn’t the same as leaving someone behind. It gave us somewhere to put a little energy while we carried what we had lost. Our other dogs have been grieving too, so we’ve kept our walks and our routines, and spent extra time together.
Loving deeply always comes with risk. One day our hearts will be broken. But I would never trade the years we had with them to avoid this pain. They filled our lives with unconditional love, got us outside every day, made us laugh and reminded us to play. Our relationship with them has changed. Our love for them hasn’t.
An Invitation to Remember
Maybe someone has come to mind as you’ve been reading. A spouse, a parent, a child, a sibling, a dear friend, a beloved pet, or something else that mattered deeply to you.
Honour them today. Say their name. Look at a photograph if you’re ready. Visit a place that reminds you of them, or share a story about them. Love doesn’t end when someone is gone. It simply changes shape, and remembering is one of the most beautiful ways love continues.
If you’d like, leave their name in the comments on the video and tell us one thing you’ll always remember about them. And if this spoke to you, subscribe to At the Heart of It All with Pierrette on YouTube.
