How to Honour Your Memories, Traditions, & What Really Matters This Holiday Season

The holidays are upon us and with it comes a mix of emotions, many responsibilities and family traditions to honour. In addition, it’s a season of stress, overwhelm, excitement, and fun all rolled into one period of time.

To help you through the holidays, here are four things you can do to make this holiday season one that is rich with memories, tradition, connection and love.

1. Honour Your Memories

The holiday season is a time to remember, to reminisce and feel the love from days gone by. It may also be a time where we feel the sadness and loneliness from losing a loved one.

To help you honour your memories and the people who make such a special part of them, use Talk/Share/Review process:

1. Talk
a. About the people in your memories. Remember them by saying their name, talking about what you remember as very special and bring back to life the memories that you cherish most.
2. Share
a. Your memories with others. Allow yourself to be open and vulnerable as you share the memories that mean the most to you.
b. Listen to others as they share their memories with you. Listen. Give them space. Ask questions. Be part of the experience as they share their profound memories.
3. Review
a. Through pictures. Pull out old photo albums and take a trip down memory lane, sharing stories, experiences and feelings of love about your past.
b. Through videos: Put in the VHS tape, DVD or watch videos through your computer. Let yourself be taken back in time through the videos that make up the story of your life.

2. Honour Your Feelings

Prepare yourself for the feelings you will experience this holiday season by planning a space that will be yours to retreat should you need time alone.

You will also want to rejoice, celebrate and create wonderful memories as your feelings surface.

Here are the three steps to honouring your feelings:

1. Feel what you are feeling. Do not suppress how you are feeling. Let it out.
a. Use a quiet place (should you need to be alone).
b. Place your hand on heart and feel what you are feeling.
c. Allow the feelings to surface.
2. Allow the feelings to move through you. Use the following to let the energy, the excitement, the pain or sadness move from inside your body out:
a. Music
b. Art
c. Dance
d. Exercise
e. Hobby
f. Laughter/Tears
3. Support/Share With: Have people in place who will be there to support you or with whom you can share your feelings and experience.
a. Groups
b. Friends
c. Family
d. Online support
e. Crisis hotline

3. Honour Other People’s Feelings

As you experience the holiday season with your loved ones, other people will bring with them their feelings and their experiences. To honour their feelings, remember the following:

1. Listen
2. Be present
3. Be supportive
4. Ask questions

4. Honour traditions

Our traditions make up the largest part of the holiday season. You may want to create new traditions if things have changed in your life.

Here’s how:

1. Create new traditions from old ones. Look at your current traditions and see how you can integrate an old tradition while creating a new one.
2. Use what you love (they loved). What is part of a current tradition that you or your loved one(s) love that you can use as the focus of the new tradition. Is it music? Arts? Song? A piece of memorabilia? What is it for you and/or for them that you can bring into a new tradition?
3. Involve others. Ask family and friends to help create the new tradition. What are some ideas that they have that can help you / them create a tradition that honours you and your loved ones.
4. Have fun! Of course! Make this a celebration, even if there is the pain of loss. Honour a past tradition by bringing joy, love and compassion.
5. Honour your past, your loved ones and your memories. That is what traditions are about. Honouring who and what we love. Incorporate that in your new tradition, whether you use this new tradition next year or not. Enjoy it this holiday season.

Additional Strategies for a Memorable Holiday Season

1. Create the space and time for you.
2. Don’t suppress how you feel. Feel how you feel.
3. Enter the holiday season with love and compassion for yourself and others.
4. Start and end your day with gratitude.
5. Remember the 4 C’s: courage, compassion, curiosity and choice.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS!

Pierrette Raymond

Pierrette Raymond is a multi-business owner and philanthropist. She has been running businesses since 1996, and has a background in Psychology, Education, Grief and Bereavement. She is the owner of 1-800-GOT-JUNK? Ottawa and Gatineau, and recently became a professional dog trainer with multiple certifications in dog behaviour and training. She is a four-time published author, speaker, facilitator, a community leader and also a member of the Forbes Coaches Council. She is the recipient of the Ontario Leading Women Building Communities award, given by the Government of Ontario to women in our province "who demonstrate exceptional leadership in working to improve the lives of others in their communities”. And she is a a Forty Under 40 Award Recipient.