When Caregiving Takes Over Your Life
Being a caregiver is exhausting, overwhelming and can be very frustrating. Many people experience loss of friendships, loss of connection with their spouse, and lack of time with their children. They are exhausted and just want to feel a sense of having a life again.
In this month’s series, geared to support you as you help your aging parents, we are covering a variety of topics including that of being a caregiver to a loved one. In this video, I provide you with three tips to help you reduce the caregiver stress you may be feeling.
1. Seek Outside Help: I always say it; you do not have to do it alone. There are local resources and agencies that are free and for fee to help you manage your responsibilities as a caregiver to a loved one. I also recommend that you seek out support groups because the people in these groups understand what you are going through and may have additional resources that are specific to your needs.
Use online searches to find what you are looking for. Search for “help for caregivers”, “support for caregivers”, “caregiver help in (your city)”. Here in Ottawa, you can refer to the City of Ottawa’s website for additional list of resources that are available to you from municipal, provincial and national agencies.
2. Take Time for Yourself: I know this is going to be tough but if you don’t, you will serve no one if you become ill or burnout from exhaustion and stress. Take an hour a day to go for a walk, read a book, exercise, or take a bath. That alone time will give the opportunity to recharge and relax. Once per month or more, depending on your caregiving and life schedule, get away for a weekend. Do something fun with family or friends. Live your life fully as though you were not a caregiver and give the time to other people in your life who love you and need you too. And remember, respite care is loving care. By using the respite care services in your area you will be giving yourself a much needed break and providing your loved one with an opportunity to be cared for by someone who has the professional skills and a loving heart.
3. Take a Stand for YOU! This is going to be the toughest of them all because as a caregiver, you don’t want to ruffle any feathers or cause any conflict. Life is complicated and stressful enough. However, if you do not take a stand for you and what you need in support, you are putting yourself in a situation that will cause you far more grief by carrying the weight of all the caregiving duties. Reset expectations with family members and together decide upon roles and responsibilities that each of you can take moving forward. Be clear about your boundaries and how you also need time for family, friends and and loved ones, and to live your life. It’s ok to say “no” to the people who drain you or are very negative. Caregiving requires you to have a positive and upbeat mindset. Having others in your life who are negative or disrespectful will be detrimental to you and your loved one. Be polite and kind AND limit your time and exposure to them.
Being a caregiver is one of the greatest gifts you can give to a loved one. And yet, it can be one of the hardest, most stressful and challenging times of our lives. Remember that you do not have to do it alone. There are resources to help you both off and online.
If you require further help or would like to speak to me privately, do reach out to me. I’m here to help.
If you require help with the one-on-one sorting, decluttering, organizing or preparing for a downsize of a loved one’s home, my team at Moving Forward Matters is available to help. We offer complimentary consultations to get you started.
And finally, if you require help to bring items that you or your loved one no longer needs, uses or wants, my team at 1-800-GOT-JUNK? is happy to help.
Remember, you do not have to do it alone. I am here to help!
NEW! “PEACE OF MIND CHECKLIST FOR AGING PARENTS AND LOVED ONES” IS NOW AVAILABLE! Download this complimentary checklist to help you cover many of the areas of concern that you may have with your aging parents or loved ones. This checklist is geared to help you ensure that you have peace of mind while caring for someone that you love.
